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Postscript about "100 Phrases for Those Who Have Lost a Loved One"

Updated 2007.03.18

All Rights Reserved. Copyright(C) 1997, 2007, Kei Nakahara

Postscript about "100 Phrases for Those Who Have Lost a Loved One"

The beginning of "100 Phrases for Those Who Have Lost a Loved One" dates back to long ago when I was a high school student. At that time, I was a vulnerable seventeen-year old who one day unexpectedly faced the death of a loved one. It was an illogical and cruel death.
I sank into a darkness of despair and regret. For years afterward, strife and sorrow inexhaustible in words made my heart desolate, and I piled up day after day in lamentation and penitence.

I thought I wanted to die, and isolated myself so I could upset no one at that moment.
I though I had lost everything.
In the tranquility of the night after my tears dried, I thought about life and death, about human life, and about human beings.
Beautiful music and literature were the only supports of my heart.

Before long, the seemingly endless sorrow and the tears flowing drop by drop with the passing of benign profound time slowly cleaned everything.
However, this is something you understand for the first time when you look back from afar.
And then I noticed, like the brightening of the dawn, the darkness in my heart had very naturally disappeared. But this took far too many years than it should for a person.

Now this is all something that happened in the past long ago. Now I hardly every shed a tear.
Sorrow itself has me has hidden me fused with a shadow.

And then one day I had the stimulus that directly conceived "100 Phrases for Those Who Have Lost a Loved One". A colleague lost a blood relative, so I sent the colleague a letter. At that moment, I perceived that, if phrases are of this type, countless phrases come flowing out of my inner self.

As I remember myself at the time, I wrote each word one by one concentrating with all my heart.

The tears that I had let flow as much as to become a stream during the passing of the long months and years seemingly welled up in the innermost part of my heart and came springing out like a beautiful fountain.

I had created a plurality of beautiful phrases.

For me, the phrases exist as magical fairies. Each has a nature. They compose one hundred agents, and give consolation to people with hearts occupied by sorrow.

The phrases exist independent from me. Even when I am outside, even when I am sleeping, these phrases do not rest and are always riding the magic carpet of the Internet searching around the world for tear-filled eyes.

The phrases continue working in places I am not aware of depositing them.

If I even ended my life, if I prepare this system well, the phrases will perhaps continue working for me eternally.

I feel very grateful, I feel very glad.

I pray ceaselessly from the heart that somehow at least one of these hardworking fairy agents will give many people consolation.

Your Impression

Please send me what you felt by reading "100 Phrases for Those Who Have Lost a Loved One".


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